1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
2. Nothing is worse than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How in the world are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my
neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11.. You never know when it will strike, but, there comes a moment at work when you know
that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart
my collection...again.
13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to
my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
14.. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this--ever.
15.. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Snap!), but when I immediately
call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer?
Drop the phone and run away?
16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance
the entire day. What a waste.
17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
18. My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day,
"Dad, what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How in the world do I respond to that?
19. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
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